


In Which Palpatine Takes a Child Drinking

by DaughterOfDungeonBat



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Banned Together Bingo, BannedTogether2020, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Prompt Fill, Skeevy Sheevy, immoral situations, inspired by another story!, light-hearted references to molestation??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:49:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24828604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaughterOfDungeonBat/pseuds/DaughterOfDungeonBat
Summary: Obi-Wan Kenobi is certain that he is too young to have a heart attack, but when Anakin casually tells him that a certain Supreme Chancellor took him to a seedy bar, he is significantly less certain of that fact.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 21
Kudos: 155
Collections: Banned Together Bingo 2020





	In Which Palpatine Takes a Child Drinking

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by mytardisisparked's 'When Sunrise Comes Early,' which will be linked at the end!
> 
> This is written for my friend Alyx, who told me to write this if I had time. I found time 24 hours later, and as my BTB2020 fill for 'Immoral Situations!'
> 
> See if anyone can guess the single line that made me write a fic around it.

You needed a license to drive a speeder, and another to pilot a starship within a system. The courses were even more rigorous if you were looking to travel at lightspeed.  
  
There was no such test for training a Padawan, even for a Knight who hadn’t… inherited an apprentice from their late master.  
  
Even if such a test had existed, Obi-Wan Kenobi was certain that it would not have prepared him for the situation he now found himself in.  
  
“He what?!”  
  
“Like I said,” Anakin said, head swiveling as if to make sure that no one he knew was passing through the hallway this unexpected lecture would apparently be taking place in. “Chancellor Palpatine took me to a bar. It’s like a cantina but-“  
  
“I know what a bar is, Anakin!” Obi-Wan snapped, dragging a hand over his face and trying to only scream internally. When his soul had returned to his mortal form, he looked down at his Padawan, who now looked as though he was trying very hard to phase through the floor beneath him. At fourteen, Anakin was all gangly limbs and odd angles. His feet were too big for his legs and his hair, darkening from no longer living on a twin-sunned planet, was just starting to curl around his ears like it always did as a sign that it was nearing time to cut it back once again. His robes didn’t fit quite right from his irregular growth spurts, and even his lightsaber looked ill-fitting hanging on his belt.  
  
As much as Anakin assured Obi-Wan that he was not the little boy Qui-Gon had picked up on Tatooine, he was still a child.  
  
A child, who had been taken to a bar by a man old enough to be his grandfather, without the knowledge of any of the adults who should have been watching Anakin.  
  
“What happened?” Obi-Wan said, crouching down so Anakin had to look down to meet his eye. “Did anything happen?”  
  
Just then, Obi-Wan saw Master Yoda making his way down the hallway, much faster than his tiny body and cane would suggest he was able to. Obi-Wan sighed internally. Master Yoda would know how to handle this- so long as Obi-Wan could get a straight answer out of Anakin before the Grand Master left.  
  
“I didn’t drink anything!” Anakin said quickly, crossing his arms across his chest.  
  
Yoda was getting closer.  
  
“But did anything… happen?”  
  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!”  
  
Later, when asked, Obi-Wan would be unable to explain what had possessed him to do what he did next. Of course, no one who asked what he had been thinking truly wanted to know his thought process, they just wanted to yell.  
  
Obi-Wan grabbed Master Yoda under the arms, hoisting him into the air in front of Anakin.  
  
“Show me on the Yoda where the Chancellor touched you!”  
  
The next thing Obi-Wan saw was stars, as Master Yoda’s cane collided with his skull.  
  
Master Yoda landed neatly on the floor like a green, wrinkled, bipedal lothcat and glared up at Obi-Wan, large green ears pressed tightly against the sides of his head.  
  
Obi-Wan Kenobi was in for a very long day.

**Author's Note:**

> https://archiveofourown.org/works/23832412
> 
> (and no, Anakin did not get molested. He is however, deeply confused.)


End file.
